05/05/2021 Personal Values & Integrity Index

Day Three

I tell you what, this whole tracking your values thing has something in it. Not only do I feel more grounded, I just feel happier too.  

I think it must have something to do with making more conscious decisions, as it's making me think before I act - rather than acting like a nodding dog like before.

A couple of things I picked up on today:

Firstly, I went to get some building materials for my van this morning and whilst I was paying for some ply wood, I noticed the little fella put in the wrong amount.  Due to his blunder my bill was about $100 less than it should be.

Now, my integrity meter tells me that I should have made him aware that he was charging me too little, but the other part of me thought " well, it's a multinational company run by greedy old men that have little to no care about the business at a root level".

So I kept my mouth shut and thought I can worry about my integrity more tomorrow after I save the hundred bucks.

But I guess that's what real integrity is. It's taking a hit sometimes, eating a shit sandwich sometimes when you don't want to, in effect taking a bit of pain because you can't bare to break your values.

But I'm not there yet, still working on it.

Oh, and I nearly forgot, but I had a meeting today with my kids teacher about him getting homeschooled. I went in being ready to be cunning and outsmart them, but in the end just told the truth and it went really well.

Plus, the model of eduction we're trying to achieve fits in really well with my values too so it felt really good.

Couple of things I learned from today:

Since I've been flat out working on renovating my van, I've noticed that it's far easier to feel satisfied after manual labor than mental labor - most of my work is done on my computer.

I found that interesting and something that has some merit.

I also learned that I'm good when I've got a deadline, but pretty shit without one.  

I heard a quote the other day about it, I think it went something like "without pressure you don't get diamonds".  Something like that anyway. 

So true.

Tasks for tomorrow, to be better than I was today:

I guess tomorrow's main task is just getting the van ready - only got four days until we move out of the house.

So other than that, I'd like to actually get my sons homeschooling paperwork off as I know it's important, and fuck me I've got to do my fucking tax - for fucks sake.  

One of these days I'll actually do it I promise.

- Rowan.