June 17

18/06/2021 Personal Values & Integrity Index

Day Forty Seven.

On my walk today I realised that after a relationship spanning nearly twenty years - with it's ups and downs - that I've developed a sense of sexual suppression.

Let me elaborate a little...

My longterm partner and I have chosen to open our relationship up (well I say open it up, but more really a separating of us two, but a co-habiting/co-parenting situation if I'm honest). And with this relationship dynamic change has come a shift.

This is quite funny but I've felt like the connection between my nob (penis) and my brain seems to have a bit of a block in it.  

Here's what I mean.

Whereas in the past I'd get turned on by pretty much any hottie that walks by, now, my cock and balls just kind of says: "Meh". It's just not bothered. 

And I think I know the answer why.

I think after such a long relationship - without access to any other vaginas (well pretty much anyway), and also with the pressure/guilt of the family thing, plus the not wanting to hurt the mother of my kids too has all added to my sexual suppression for want of a better word.

So, here's what I'm going to do about it.

I'm going to look into it and work out what the core reasons for it are.  Is it a guilt thing, an anxiety thing, maybe it's a childhood thing, a chakra thing, who knows.  Either way, I'm going to go on a bit of a dig around and try and get to the bottom of it.

And with a bit of luck I'll be back at the crease, ready and raring to go.

I'll keep you posted (bet you can't wait, lol).

What I did good

  • Smashed out a sick sales page.
  • Built a cool step for my van.

What I did bad

  • Didn't speak my truth on a couple of occasions, need to up my game.

Tasks for tomorrow, to be better than I was today:

Still haven't finished the E-Myth book, but I'm getting some good work done regardless, so hopefully smash out some more good shit tomorrow.

- Rowan. 


PERSONAL VALUE & INTEGRITY INDEX


70%
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50%
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90%
FREEDOM
90%
SIMPLICITY
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About the author 

Rowan Clifford

Hey, I'm Rowan. I wrote the article above that you found, then read, and we're intrigued enough to check out the bio. You probably don't know how much went in to get you here, but if you're interested, that's exactly what I teach on this blog :)

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